Thursday, August 7, 2014

Some days...

Some days...being a mom sucks.

Some days...being a mom means running from impossible situation to impossible situation.

Some days...there isn't enough coffee, alcohol, or sugar.

Some days...some moments...you know that the only reason why you are still holding it together is because it is socially unacceptable and a bad example to your kids to do anything else.

I've been having a few of these days.  All strung together.  Where nothing gets done because there are two black holes of time and energy called toddlers in the house.

I am a professing Christian.  Which means that a lot of my homeschool Christian friends have dreamed, and continue to dream, of having my job.  Of being a stay-at-home mom who takes care of her kids and home.

To them I say: good for you.  To me I say...I guess we have to keep going.

Reality of the matter is that families aren't perfect.  Moms, dads, kids, grandparents, everyone, are not perfect.  And sometimes, those imperfections join up all together in a giant clusterf**k.  In case I wasn't being vivid enough, that is where I am right now.

But in the midst of this, I know that we will all come out of this alive.  I know that as bad as some of my mom days are, that I will still be able to calm down in time to put my kids to bed and truly whisper, "I love you," as I tuck slightly grimy heads into bed.  Slightly grimy because we didn't quite get to bath time tonight.  I know that when my son asks to "paint" the next morning I will still say yes even if it means having to do more laundry, hosing him and the table and chair off because of the mess.  I know that I will still make sure that my family is fed, relatively clean, and life will be livable.

Because I had a revelation.  A single moment of clarity that hit and was gone again but left a clear impression of the image burned in my head: I am a toddler throwing tantrums to my heavenly Father.  And He has given me a family to help me too.  While I care for the members of my household, my sisters in Christ rallied around me and encouraged me and prayed for me and talked me back from the edge of insanity.  (If you are reading this, you know who you are and my sincerest thanks.  You are God's love in a real and tangible way.)

Lightening and coffee and sister friends.  That is how I know some bad days will turn into many good days.